Welcome to Arcus
- Lauren B
- 0
- on Oct 18, 2022
February 15, 3020
Center City, Arcus
To Myself,
Sometimes, I can barely tell one day from the next. It’s like there’s a fog in my mind that just won’t lift and I don’t know why. Mom and Dad don’t know about this, imagine if they did? Their head son who’s supposed to one day take charge of the family and help lead Arcus. No, they would freak out and immediately take me to Arcadia and sign me up for an appointment. But I don’t want that, I’ll get better, I just need a few days. I don’t understand how Arcadia is supposed to help me and it will affect everything. It’s not the first time I felt like this and it probably won’t be my last. I think the last time it was this bad was when I was formally introduced to the council and had to take tests that proved I was worthy of the position. I just want to live my own life and not worry about the duties expected of me as a head or just not be head at all but I can’t do that to Semi, he’s not fit to be a head. He’s too much of a free spirit to settle down. He cares too much about everything which would kill him in the eyes of the council. The council is made up of elders, more concerned with advancing everything which almost goes against why Arcus was created in the first place. To advance but recognize the importance of the past. Maybe when Dad steps down and the next generation of heads takes over we can actually make some change that represents what the people want. Sometimes the pressure can become overwhelming. Knowing that you’ll be partly responsible for a whole country even if you don’t want to be. I do want to be an innovator and help people better their lives but I don’t know if the council is the right place for it. Sometimes I think about what it would be like if Arcus was different. If from my literal birth I didn’t know I had to be great and fulfill my parents’ expectations. At least I have Semi, he treats me like a normal person. Not the next head or a scholar but just his brother, his twin. My alarm for my next dose of meds went off and I know Semi will be storming in here to check that I’ve taken them. I have tons of work to get done before the council training group meets, I hope I get it done in time. If I don’t I’ll probably get in trouble. Hopefully, when I write next the medicine will have helped.
– Amos
February 17, 3020
Center City, Arcus
Dear Journal,
It’s a nightmare here. Amos keeps saying he’s fine but that’s the furthest thing from the truth. I remember when I went into his office a few days ago to check on him and he was just asleep in his chair with stacks and stacks of papers around him, all in complete disarray. Mom and Dad panicked too when they finally found out after catching him doing work at five o’clock in the morning, in his sleep-deprived haze he let it slip that he had pulled an all-nighter. They always act like this whenever he’s off, like their whole world is falling apart. I guess in a way it kinda would. I remember when we were little they fawned over Amos, always giving him the best of everything. Putting him in a different school, enrolling him in Latin lessons, at least until the council said that wasn’t required of future heads. Anyway, I remember when we were five and Amos sneezed. They looked at him like he was about to collapse. But he wasn’t this bad back then, he’s gotten way paler, which is saying something because he’s quite pale to begin with, and the bags under his eyes have settled in a permanent residence. Last night I heard Mom and Dad talk about making an appointment at Arcadia which I guess they’ll do if it comes to that. Amos hates the idea of it and makes that perfectly clear when he strongly reprimanded (read yelled) at Mom and Dad for even thinking of it. I think the reason he’s so scared is because of our bond, the twinepathy. He doesn’t feel the need to hide everything from me but he’s getting worse. Yesterday he still seemed alive but now he’s barely moving. It could be from all the stress of being a head, I for sure couldn’t handle it but I guess that’s the pro of being the younger twin. School today went fine I guess. I feel like all we’re doing is working on innovating and making things better but I don’t see why that’s only what we should be doing. I get it that Arcus doesn’t really care about the past but I think that’s ridiculous! How can we keep changing if we don’t look at what happened before us? Even Amos agrees with me, even if he doesn’t get my love for history. I just feel like if you ignore something that only makes it come back stronger. I wish I could study history for real.
– Semi
March 18, 3020
Center City, Arcus
To Myself,
It’s gotten worse, far worse than it ever did before. It’s easier to remember the days when I was okay versus when I wasn’t. Semi has made a joke out of it which I appreciate, it’s better than Mom and Dad who act like I’m a frail, old man. Tonight we have an event to go to celebrate Arcus. It marks the first big innovation the council had a hand in, giving those who were blind their sight back. Primum is the biggest event of the season. It has an exclusive guest list and elaborate parties. Not to mention the council unveils a new innovation they’ve been working on and one they just finished, which is the only part I really look forward to. Last year they announced the progress they had on making a flying car and the completion of Arcadia. It’s one part of living in Arcus and being a future head that I don’t mind, everything is possible. I know that Semi has an obsession with history and I don’t completely get it but he likes it so what am I to say? I do agree with him though, why should we forget the past? Mom told me that during the beginning of the country they mandated that all heads learn Latin but when Semi and I were really little they said it wasn’t required so Mom and Dad pulled me out. I still remember a bit but not a lot. Anyway, I’m dreading the event. The exclusive guest list I mentioned, it’s limited to heads and future heads only. Which means Semi won’t be there to keep me company though we do have the twinepathy connection in case of emergencies. Besides, all the heads do is discuss business and show off how well their lives are while the future heads sit in a separate corner still working because the council never gives us a break. This also means I’m going to have to pretend to be perfect again for a whole night and early morning which I don’t know if I can do. For the love of my hoverboard and brotherhood please give me strength.
– Amos
March 19, 3020
Center City, Arcus
Dear Journal,
They shouldn’t have gone to the Prium celebration last night! Amos is even worse off than before. It’s gotten to the point where he can’t even get out of bed anymore, I go to talk to him and it’s like he barely registers I’m there, he’s still pushing to get all of his stupid work done. Like that really matters right now? All I know is that two nights ago Amos and I were watching TV and he was complaining about the celebration, and how he would have to pretend to be perfect. Then last night before he and Dad left I saw him in his room, standing, braced against his dresser repeating his flashcards to himself. But he kept pausing like he didn’t know what any of them were talking about. He looked like the brother I remembered, the one before all of this. But that was just all a mask. Anyone who knew him well enough, or in my case was in his head, could see the bags under his eyes just barely hidden underneath the concealer. I remember asking him if he was up to this. That he could skip the event if he wanted to but he said no, that as a future head it was his responsibility to go. I still think the whole council is stupid! All they care about is appearances and improving everything when maybe something doesn’t need to be fixed. If Amos didn’t feel the need to act like the proper future head then maybe he wouldn’t have gotten sick in the first place! Sometimes I think it would’ve been better if Great-Grandma Mia hadn’t decided to settle in Arcus and instead stay in Switzerland. Maybe then we wouldn’t have been one of the ridiculous sacred families. Sometimes I’m worried about what it means for me to be a second son, always behind, not mattering as much. For god’s sake, even my career options are going to be limited and that’s not even considering doing something I’m actually proud of. I guess that’s something I envy Amos for, even though his whole life is mapped out at least he has a plan. He always knows what he’s doing next. But I don’t know what’s going to happen to him after tonight.
– Semi
April 2, 3020
Center City, Arcus
To Myself,
They did it. They finally did it. And it was all without my own permission! Even Semi was in on it. I can’t believe Dad actually signed me up for an appointment at Arcadia. I don’t care that it’s a memory restorative facility and health center. I know I’m sick but I’ll get better if I just have some time, I always do. I don’t know what my or someone else’s memories will do to help me get better. Besides, what will this do to Semi and me? Knowing that if I ever need him I can just nudge him in his mind is one of the best things about being a twin, I don’t want to endanger that. But I guess Semi decided it was worth the risk. I also don’t want to go and be unconscious for two whole months, I have important work that needs to get done. I get why they’re so scared, today is one of the worst days so far. After the Primum party, I felt awful but I kept trying to push through it. I don’t remember much of what happened when I got back but I’m pretty sure that Dad and Semi had to carry me back to my room, I have a faint memory of Mom screaming maybe. From what I know about Arcadia I’m pretty sure they’re going to take Semi’s unconscious memories and do some weird thing for them to enter my brain. I think the facility will take some of his memories about being healthy and kind of put them in me in an effort to reboot my brain into calming down. I mean, I do want to be better but Arcadia is new and while I do know some stuff I don’t know a lot. What if something goes wrong with me or Semi? What if we die? That’s what I’m most scared of right now, the what-ifs. Dad said that my appointment is for April 18th. That day he, Semi, and I are going to get on the transport and go to Arcadia. The whole process is going to take about a month and a half. I guess looking on the bright side, at least I won’t have to go to future head training anytime soon. Right now I just feel very lost, not feeling okay at home and not knowing what my future may look like, that is if I end up having one. I just wish I knew what would happen next. My life has always been planned out, now I don’t even know what tomorrow will look like.
– Amos
April 2, 3020
Center City, Arcus
Dear Journal,
We did it, we finally did it. Dad made an appointment for Amos at Arcadia now even though he’s been talking about it for a month and a half. His appointment or I guess I should say ours, is scheduled for April 18th. Dad explained a bit of how Arcadia works and wow, I can’t believe how much information the council withholds from everyone who isn’t a head or future head. Essentially, Amos and I are going to be unconscious and some machine or person, I’m not really sure which, is going to transfer some of my unconscious healthy memories of Amos into his brain in order to remind his brain what it was like to not be ridiculously stressed all the time. I think then his brain is supposed to start becoming calmer until Amos is better. The whole process is going to take about a month and a half so I’ll miss the last few weeks of school which I’m kinda upset about. At the end of the year, a lot of the teachers run out of curriculum to teach since they finished it so a lot of them talk about the history of Arcadia and things that we don’t know like the first innovation that failed. I’m a bit scared about the procedure, the thought of some machine poking around my brain like that, which then needs me to be unconscious until Amos and I both wake up makes my skin crawl. Not to mention the risk it holds to our bond, even if the procedure goes all according to plan there’s a 40% chance that our twinepathy could go away. But Amos is my brother and my best friend. I would rather be unconscious for a few weeks and lose some mind powers than watch him wither away and maybe die! God, I know he’s pissed at Mom and Dad, at me. He hated that we made the decisions without him. He made it perfectly clear that he didn’t want to go to Arcadia under any circumstances because he thought he didn’t need it. But we had to do it, if he had known Amos definitely would’ve done something to mess with the appointment and not go. This is goodbye for now journal, I’ll pick you up again once this whole thing is over.
– Semi
June 2, 3020
Center City, Arcus
To Myself,
I’m back and I feel so much better! Arcadia really did help. Once Semi and I woke up there was just a switch that went off in me; I didn’t feel stressed or foggy anymore, I felt strong and alert. I almost forgot what it was like. It was so strange waking up yesterday in my recovery room, I didn’t even feel like I was coming out of a coma, I just felt like I was waking up again after a long nap. There was supposed to be an attendant in our room when we woke up but there were some scheduling accidents and no one was there. When I woke up Semi didn’t even recognize me or know who I was, we then spent nearly an hour trying to figure out not only how to leave the recovery room but Arcadia overall. The place was dead, no one else was there so it was just the two of us trying to figure stuff out. It was kinda hard since Semi didn’t remember anything and I had become healthy after being sick for a month and a half. But eventually, we did figure it out and Semi got his memories back once we crossed the threshold outside. It freaked me out, to be honest, the thought that he had lost everything scared me beyond belief and I’m so thankful everything turned out okay. Apparently, the attendant that should’ve been in our room was supposed to tell us that Semi would slowly gain back his memories over the course of an hour and a half due to the invasive nature of the procedure while for me I would feel the benefits almost instantly. I’m just so happy to be normal right now! Maybe that can be my suggestion to the council when I become a head can be something related to stress and how it can affect you mentally and physically. After all, every heir needs an innovation they’re passionate about and want to work on. Mine can be curing mental health problems, eradicating them as a whole. Mom is calling me for dinner, she invited over the whole family and I can’t wait to dig in. For once, I’m not going to do my work at the table, I’m just going to enjoy it all.
– Amos
June 2, 3020
Center City, Arcus
Dear Journal,
Well, it’s been an interesting month and a half. I’m so happy to be back home. There was such a bad mess up in the scheduling and everything that when Amos and I woke up there wasn’t some staff member there to check on us or tell us anything. When I woke up, I had literally lost all of my memories. I didn’t know anything. I opened my eyes, looked at Amos, and didn’t recognize him. God, I was scared about what was going on but thankfully I got my memories back an hour and a half later. The twinepathy is still intact and it’s so much fun annoying Amos with songs that get stuck in his head for days. It was really scary just waking up in this weird place with no idea of how I had gotten there, what had happened to me, and who the other person in the room with me was. I’m just so happy that’s all behind us now and that Amos is okay again. Right before I sat down to write this I spied him reading a book for fun not for work, something I haven’t seen him do in months. Tonight Mom invited the whole family, extended too, to celebrate Amos’s return from Arcadia and I’m really looking forward to seeing everyone again. A part of me wishes that they were also celebrating me and the sacrifice I made for my brother but I’ve learned to make peace with being the second son. Besides, I’m happy exactly where I am; buried in the library with contraband history books, rather than have that than the stuffy meetings Dad and Amos have to attend. Maybe once he officially joins the council he’ll let me become a proper historian. Honestly, I don’t really have a lot to say, I’m just so happy that life can return to being and not be so stagnant anymore. We’re in Center City for god’s sake. I’m going to party a bit and after losing my memories for over an hour I think Amos and I deserve a good break.
– Semi
